Thanks and Sorry
by virtualailee
Summary: Restless, broken, and cheerless… It was Neji’s father's death anniversary again. But why did it feel ever so heavy and grim? Must he crumble under the weight of it? It was slashing him inside…


At a distant, the sky by the mountains greeted Morning with a watery hue of pink and yellow as the sun clambered from horizon. Splashing tenderness and joy onto the already awoken Konoha, it levitated higher and higher in the air until every soul in the village could see its golden face. Brown finches twittered gaily on a window sill of a boy's room.

It was another new day.

Light cascaded into the chamber resided by a still form on the futon. The boy was lying on his side, his cold body wrapped comfortably between the sheets. He knew yesterday had already passed. So this must be today. There he lay, unmoving; his pupil-less eyes half-shielded behind the lids. He did not sleep. He _could _not sleep.

And it was another new day.

Slowly, he got to his feet and folded the futon into a neat heap before stashing it in the cupboard. He then slithered into the bathroom as quiet as a feline so that he would not bother the other family members. Or was it the other way round?

His reflection on the mirror greeted his grim self. He had seen himself everyday here, save when he was out on missions, but somehow, today it seemed that even he was astounded by his vast physical growth. He was never near this tall years ago… but of course; he had grown, just like any other normal teenagers. He was sixteen, for goodness sake. If he was any smaller, he would be a laughing stock…

_Enough._

He brought both hands to the back of his head and undid the knot which held the Konoha forehead protector in place. After all these years, he had sort of came to accept the mark as a part of him. He had long stopped flinching at the mere sight of this… long, wasn't it? How long actually?

He switched on the water heater and allowed hot water to rain onto him. It took only a few seconds before he sunk ever so deeply into his reveries…

He was not conscious of his surroundings anymore.

_It was definitely a big day for the Hyuga clan. The adults rejoiced and cheered and drank sake to commemorate the day but as for the children, they perceived it as yet another party since it was beyond their comprehension to fathom the significance of the event. _

_But not everyone was jumping in jubilee._

_Two look-alikes stood firmly albeit distancing themselves away from each other. A diminutive smile was carved onto their facades but it did not masquerade the buried pain bore by one of the duo._

_A very young boy sporting long, dark mane just like the rest of the male Hyuga glimpsed upon an also very young girl hand-in-hand with a man whom he assumed to be her father. Normal she may appear on the outside, he sensed something amiss with this view, though he did not know what. But one thing was for certain – he had heard tells that this ceremony was for her, whoever she was. Yet she looked so withdrawn, more of a recluse actually. Was that not odd?_

_The boy pulled his father's hand._

"_Yes?"_

"_O-tousan, who is that girl?"_

_The elderly man barely glanced at her when he responded almost immediately, "Her name is Hinata. She is the heiress of the Hyuga clan."_

_The boy surveyed the girl again. Then his eyes traversed to her father. The familiar spark of inquisitiveness ignited again. That man, he had seen him a number of times before this… and he was reminded to call him Hiashi-sama. And there was the fact that he looked uncannily similar to his father. You know, people do not come in the same appearances by coincident. Perhaps they are twin brothers?_

_And if they were twin brothers…_

_That would make him her cousin!_

_A glow of cheeriness radiated from within. The boy turned to his father again._

"_O-tousan, are Hinata and I cousins?"_

_Shock. _

_The man was momentarily shocked. He had not told this to his son for the better nor did he expect him to realize that undeniable fact during this particular day. But at the same time, he could not help being impressed by his son's ability to needle through minute details and deduce something like that. His logic told him to deprive the boy of any information but the nagging conscience of a father forbade him from lying. So reluctantly, he nodded._

_As expected, his son burst into a grin._

"_Good! So can she come over and play? I can go there too if her father won't allow!"_

_Sadness churned in the man's heart. He knew his voice would not work well and he would never let his son hear that. Instead, he ruffled the boy's hair affectionately before shaking his head._

_The glow of cheeriness deadened._

_A pair of hands landed on the boy's shoulders._

"_And Neji," the man croaked gruffly, "Please call her Hinata-sama."_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

Routinely, a fully dressed Hyuga Neji walked solemnly to the dining hall. Usually, only Hiashi and his two younger cousins would be there having breakfast. But for today's occasion, every single Hyuga was expected to be there. Not that he disliked anyone in particular; it was just that he preferred to be left alone for the next twenty one hours… and being anywhere but here…

Clatter of porcelain mugs on wooden tables and babble of speeches reverberated along the hallway. There must be a huge crowd already… he must be running late…

He halted briefly at the entrance and scanned the area. Instantly his keen eyes spotted the ones he used to dine with but today, it would be out of the question. So he turned to a corner where several Branch House members were huddled together.

"Neji, where are you going?"

He spun around.

Hiashi was eyeing him quizzically while his eldest daughter gazed at somewhere roughly an inch from his ear. Awkwardly, he made his way to his uncle and settled beside Hinata.

"Good morning Hiashi-sama, Hinata-sama, Hanab –"

"Neji-nii san! You're late!" the youngest member at the table whined.

"Ah, yes, sorry for that."

"Hanabi," Hiashi voiced sternly. It was not a summoning – it was a warning.

"Yes, o-tousan," she mumbled.

Neji tipped freshly brewed tea into his cup and ogled blankly at the steaming drink. Hiashi, meanwhile, peered down covertly at his nephew. He knew it was pointless to ask what was wrong. He knew it was hopeless to try cheering him up. He knew he could do nothing to make it right. He knew, because today is the day.

It is the day of his brother, Hyuga Hizashi's death anniversary.

The boy would have a whole day to mourn. Filling an empty stomach is still first and foremost. He took a platter of red bean man tao and held it in front of Neji.

"Take one. You have to eat something."

Neji lifted his head a fraction.

"Yes, Hiashi-sama."

And he took one.

But his mouth was dry; too try to even eat a bun. It felt like chewing carpet. Regardless of how much he wanted to refuse the meal and leave, he knew how boorish it would be to do that in the leader of Hyuga clan's face. So he forced his seemingly rusty jaws to chomp before washing it down with a gulp of tea.

The room was already properly illuminated by natural sun ray. It must be about time.

Neji lowered his cup and stared vacantly on the table once more.

Hinata glanced sideways at him.

Hiashi got up and gestured to everyone in the vicinity. Abruptly, utter quietness devoured all whispers and words. Making use of the noiseless environment, he exclaimed, "If everyone is done here, let us proceed to the main hall."

One by one, the adults stood and filed out of the dining chamber. Younger children were lead away by their parents. Eventually, only the four of them were left in the unoccupied space. Hiashi took Hanabi by the hands and headed for the door. Without a word, Neji tailed him closely, his eyes intent on his feet and his mind completely void of thoughts.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"I would like to convey my gratitude and thanks to everyone present here. Today is –" Hiashi found his voice faltered at this point. But he had to do this; he could not stop. He inhaled deeply and addressed all Hyuga once again, "Today is the anniversary of my brother's death, Hizashi. This man is the savior of the Hyuga legacy. He placed his life on the line for the sake of the living ones… _us. _He saw us as his brethren, and he upheld the true value of a family. For what he had sacrificed for us, let us bear him in our prayers and wish for his happiness in the afterworld."

Hiashi lighted three joss sticks and bowed thrice in front of the elaborate ancestors' plaques. In general, their names were engraved into slabs of expensive sandalwood and mahogany. To the clan members, they knew fully well that even death do not erase the bias perceptions towards those from the Branch House – their names were written in black whilst the Main House members' were in gold. However, apparently there was an exception in Hizashi's case. His plaque, although made exactly like any other Branch House members', had a dainty china vase beside it. A solitary stalk of white carnation added a touch of shrouded love from the one who had it there in the first place.

Neji had heard stories from the maids about how they were instructed to bring fresh flower every day to the altar for the late Hizashi. What a queer request, they thought, because Hizashi belonged to the Branch House. Even the Main House members were not presented with such honour… Only when Hiashi-sama himself showed up to relay his will did they take it more seriously.

Hiashi planted the joss sticks into a clay-made container brimming with fine ashes. He took a step back and beckoned Neji to come over. Startled, he inched forward apprehensively before whispering to his uncle's ear, "Hiashi-sama, shouldn't you let the other elderly and… and the Main House members to start the ceremony?"

The older man smiled somewhat and clasped Neji's back encouragingly.

"Yes, usually because that's the custom for special occasions. But you're his _son._"

He nodded once more before retreating to a subdued corner. Neji repeated his uncle's earlier doings and bowed thrice to his father's plaque. But he stood there for a second longer. Now that he was facing him, he did not know what to do… not before the many watchful eyes of the Main House members.

"O-tousan…"

He felt a warm hand enclosed around his. It sent warmth to his icy heart.

"Neji-nii san..."

Hanabi, half his height, was standing beside him. She put on a fiery visage as though daring anyone who had the guts to reprimand Neji for lighting joss sticks first despite being a "lower-class" Hyuga. But her expressions softened when she tugged at him to the side.

"Nii san," she started, "You don't want to stand here forever, do you?"

Neji broke his gaze on the altar and allowed his self to be dragged aside. Three paces more and he stopped suddenly, jerking Hanabi to his rooted form.

"Nii san?" She looked up him, frowning as she did so.

"I thank you for what you've done, really. But I don't have the authority to sit here."

Hanabi was towing him to the front rows where the Main House members were. Already a few elderly were hurling reproachful glares at him. Neji looked painfully at Hanabi again.

"You go on. Hinata-sama is waiting."

"But – nii san!"

He pried the young cousin's hand on his gently. With another fake smile, he walked to the back of the hall, placing himself in between two other of his status. Every year… every single year… this would be what he had to endure. Hanabi had used to berate those who showed the vaguest hint of disrespect towards him but after quite a number of scolding from Hiashi, she had to practice patience. She might flex a fist or two occasionally but he would always restrain her should fury got the better of her.

"_Let me go, nii san! They're talking crap of you! Let me teach them –"_

"_No! Calm down! Or I'll be in serious trouble!"_

Only those words registered to her.

He knew Hiashi-sama would not reprimand him even if he pummeled those wobbling facial orifices, but truthfully, he did not care. They were not significant. Hanabi had called him "freak" for not feeling anything when she really lost her temper. Ironically, even he could not explain the lack of such emotion. It was just the way it is.

The bell chimed twice and a monk started chanting prayers. Neji looked on; the other Hyugas were paying respect to his father according to the "custom". Almost all of the front sitters were either bending over or had just returned to their respective places.

A long time ago at this very spot, when the waning moon shone bleakly in the navy sky, some of the family members grouped inside in this candle-lit hall. Everybody was sitting with their backs onto the wall. Only two figures were moving agilely in organized steps casting shadows to the spectators. They punched, ducked, kicked, jumped and somersaulted in the dense air. Little Neji was there too. He was not supposed to, but his father insisted. And since Hiashi-sama did not object, so there he was.

Neji was never allowed to learn martial arts. He knew that his family's descendants were all elite ninjas and carried the bloodline limit Byakugan. Neji was bequeathed with this as well – it struck him when he noticed his peculiar pale eyes were very, _very _different that that of the other villagers.

In fact, it seemed that only those who were born under the name of Hyuga had the eyes.

So he must have inherited Byakugan as well.

His father told him that he was _too young _to be involved in combat. That was why he got turned down each time he requested a lesson. But Neji found out that it was not true. Hinata-sama was a year his junior yet there she was, prancing before twenty senior members of the clan. But thanks to his capability of picking things stupendously fast, he had learnt how to fight by just watching Hiashi-sama teaching his daughter.

Her steps were weak. Her body movements were undecided. Her facial expression told him exactly what he was thinking – she did not want to do this. Her stance was full of openings. Yes, she, the heiress of Hyuga legacy was that vulnerable. Neji watched the progress with awe, not daring to slip in comments out of fear for his father's wrath; he had taught himself martial moves and that was forbidden…

Forbidden because he was not _them…_

_Hizashi observed and scrutinized every step taken by the young girl. She was sparring with another man over twice her height from the Branch House. But those advances the man took – he could never fool anyone here. He was merely feigning a fight. He was not serious in harming the frail girl. He was only carrying out the orders of Hiashi. The leader did not tell him to step up, though, so he continued dodging those pitiful fists and aimed one himself when he was doubtless that Hinata could avoid it._

_Hizashi shifted his attention from the training and searched for his brother. Nobody was aware of it, Hizashi was sure; that deep down, Hiashi was disgusted by the performance put up by his daughter._

_He lowered his head as to conceal it beneath sheets of shadows._

"_Hiashi will see to it that Hinata is named the next heir of Hyuga. Neji, even though older by a year and possesses a lot more talent than her stands no chance. This is my only regret. Neji, my son, will never be able to learn the ultimate secrets of Byakugan because he trots behind me – a Branch House member. This isn't justice…"_

"_Hizashi."_

_The sitting man raised his head. Dim candle light showered his flabbergasted visage._

"_I know what you're thinking."_

_Hiashi formed a hand seal. Neji had absolutely no idea what it was for but everything became clear soon after._

"_O-tousan!"_

_His father collapsed heavily on the plank floor, rolling and screaming in pure agony. Hinata, apparently horrorstruck, and her adversary stood frosted at this scene. Hiashi watched coldly, his vacant eyes fixed onto Hizashi's tortured form._

"_O-tousan! O-tousan!"_

_Hizashi clam both hands on his forehead. His excruciating shrieks permeated Night; everyone, young and old, witnessed this merciless conduct with wide opened mouths. This was the first time a Main House member activated the seal under this very roof in years. If this prolonged, the poor man would really be lost… But no one was bold enough to stop Hiashi-sama…_

_He sensed the horizontal man's consciousness ebbing as the Hyuga curse raged upon its victim. This lesson must leave some depth, some imprints… _

_The looming figure relaxed his hand thus relinquished his brother from the torment. The shouts subsided. A tear-streaked Neji mustered what little strength he got to pull his shaking father closer to him._

"_O-tousan!"_

"_Realise this, Hizashi. A sparrow may never become a peacock no matter how high it could fly. It can only hold dreams of morphing into one on a cold winter night but it will never come true. The law of nature will not see to it. It is destined to be a plain sparrow and it will remain that way. It is already fated."_

_Hizashi propped his weakened body up with two quivering arms. Neji clung tightly to his father._

"_And soon, your son will be branded just like you. Then his destiny will be unchanged."_

_The young pallid boy, submersed in fear, could only stare at his horrifying uncle with terror… and detest._

A faraway jingle of bells nudged Neji into reality.

He looked at the altar. This time, the Branch House members were kneeling on the tatami singing hymns. He was one of the few who lingered at the back instead of partaking in the holy session. Neji shut his eyes.

_Branded…_

_On his birthday, his uncle gave him an unexpected present. Hunching a bit to Neji's small stature, he formed a series of elaborate hand seals before clasping his palm, now burning with bluish energy, on the boy's forehead._

_For a split second, Neji thought he was going to die._

_His head seared blindingly as though his very brain was threatening to tear out of his skull. It was something he had not experienced before, and he hoped he did not have to anymore. His father… where is his father? He wanted it to stop hurting… just to stop hurting…_

_Hiashi supported his nephew's limp body with his arms. The boy was out cold. Beads of scarlet blood dripped from his forehead and under the glow of candle light, he saw the outline of the Hyuga seal, etched permanently on the boy's fair skin._

"_I'm sorry."_

Neji opened his eyes. Patches of blackness obscured his vision. Subconsciously, he clutched the side of his head, willing them to fade away. And gradually, light poured into his view, dissolving the darkness hindering his sight.

"Are you all right, Neji-kun?"

He turned to the source of those words. A lady in her ripened age was smiling toothily at him; her wrinkled hands held him firmly on the shoulder. The teenage boy forced a grin in return. He knew it would look more like a grimace or a scowl, but his face muscles would not comply to stretch his lips in a friendly arc. The lady gave him a reassuring sort of pat on the arm which loosened the knot in Neji's throat. He rolled his eyes around the hall, in search for a certain image.

Hiashi-sama was no where to be seen.

Neji swallowed hard and rose to his feet. The benevolent lady, however, spoke prudently, "You don't have to do anything you don't want to, boy. Everyone needs their space and time. _You _need yours today." She flashed her toothy grin again. "You really live up to Hizashi-kun's name."

Speechless.

He did not know what to say. His larynx constricted again but for a very different reason dissimilar to the previous one. He knelt before the woman and held her hands.

"Thank you, o-baa san."

And he left.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The brook which flowed along the border of Konoha was where he used to go when he had something burdening his mind. Rumours had it that violent robbers and land pirates terrorized the said area. However, Neji knew better. The scouting ninjas had purged the gangs which haunted this location quite sometime ago. Although there were no more reasons to breathe life into this falsehood, nobody seemed to want to clarify the matter. No dangerous folks roamed the area anymore. Yet no one wanted to trespass here either.

Neji was not complaining. It would just retain the tranquility of this river side…

The clear water shimmered enchantingly on the surface as it reflected the sun beam. But underneath the glorious skin of fluid lay thousands of treacherous jagged rocks. With time, the coarse edges were smoothened by the never ceasing current. How long, though, does it take to dull the roughness? If there was anything the mighty river could mirror, it would be the Hyuga clan. Outwardly unruffled and neutral but too much resentment was ensnared within.

Too much that too often he found himself suffocating in constant envy and bitterness.

Hiashi-sama and his father were twin brothers. They came to this world together. Loneliness would never be an issue… always having each other to confide to… and to fight for. Yet somehow, for some rules and laws based on menial reasoning, they drifted away… further… and further… until death do them part.

He could still remember vividly how he felt and acted upon learning the passing of his father. The brutal truth of him braving every second onwards alone sliced his very soul. How could his father ever think of ruthlessly leaving his only son? He was small, too small to have the valour to stand up for himself. He could not do it… it was impossible!

_Really?_

… _You're pathetic._

Pathetic…

His mind went blank. The gushing melancholy filling his brain stemmed suddenly. He blinked in the brightness.

What had gotten into him?

_Pathetic…_

Neji sighed. He felt stupendously ridiculous now. What a waste of time… to wallow in self pity and despair…

No more.

His world was dismal and barren no more.

He was a changed man. A grown up. And he had been that since the fateful clash. He had his eyes peeled for the truth. After being blinded by his obstinate judgments and principles, he was given the chance to rouse from stupidity and naivety… He was different.

Wiser.

He knew now why he no longer reserved rancid angst for his clan. He was cleansed. He was freed.

But the lack of anger only intensified his sadness and sorrow for his father…

_He did not want to move._

_Two medical ninjas lifted him onto a stretcher and brought him to the treatment room. He was not wounded critically, but yes, the boy could do with some rest. So they lay him on the reclining mattress. _

_The curtain hung at the door frame flapped open revealing a tall man by the entrance. Both bustling attendants stared at the new arrival._

"_Hiashi-sama," one of them greeted, failing to mask a slight hint of surprise._

_Neji, upon hearing the visitor's name, tensed somewhat._

_The leader of Hyuga clan nodded in acknowledgement before admitting himself in._

"_Can I have a word with him?"_

_The medic-nins exchanged puzzled looks. They did have work outside since the second bout of Chunin test is about to commence. And the boy was not in any serious condition…_

"_Sure. Let's go," he indicated to his partner._

_They left, leaving both Hyuga in privacy. The boy sat up but stared adamantly on the floor – for some reasons unknown to him, he did not really want to see his uncle right now. Hiashi approached Neji and spoke in a barely audible whisper, "Years ago, Hinata was made the target of abduction by a pack of Iwagakure-nins. They came here under the disguise of issuing a truce between Konoha and their Hidden Village. But, one day after we sealed the contract, they send someone to break into Hinata's room in attempt to kidnap her. I…I killed him… before he had the chance to sneak Hinata out. But hours later, the Iwagakure-nins showed up at our residence and demanded a… a compensation."_

_Neji shot an empty glare at his uncle._

"_What did they want?"_

_Hiashi shuffled closer to the boy. Uncertainly, he raised his hand so as to grip his nephew's shoulder in a caring air._

"_They wanted me," he finished quietly. _

_Wanted me…_

_They wanted me…_

_Me…_

_Neji flared up. His brain jammed. He swatted the elder man's hand roughly aside – his visage contorted with disgust and despise._

"_I knew it… I knew it! Then you should've died! And my father would've lived!"_

"_Neji – no, please! I was prepared to go to them, to surrender my body as a repayment for murdering their leader! But… but –" he broke off. The boy was not ready to listen, to know. But he has to. He has to…_

_Unable to go on, he slipped a hand into his sleeve and conjured a scroll. Its wax seal was still intact._

"_Neji, before Hizashi died, he left this in my possession. And he told me…" Hiashi inhaled deeply and flicked his eyes to the ceiling for a second, "he told me to give this to you… when the time is right."_

_He pushed it meekly into Neji's palms._

"_And I think this is the right time."_

_Neji's eyes swept over the yellowing scroll. On it was his name written in ink. This remnant of his father's memory was not a hoax; it was his father's handwritings, he could discern them._

_The boy tore his orbs from the treasure. The elder man was down on bended knees._

"_Uncle…"_

_Hiashi bowed low; his forehead on the cold floor._

"_Forgive me… for everything."_

_------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------_

That was when he was cleansed. Released from the cages entrapping him in self-told lies and deceit.

Hiashi had wanted to turn himself in for breaching the truce. They wanted the body of Hyuga's rightful leader. And he was ready to oblige. Maybe it was already embedded in human's nature; no matter how much rivalry and suffering contaminated a relationship, brotherly love prevails. It always does. Hizashi could never see his brother die in his wake. Never. And he would do whatever it takes to keep him alive and well, even if he had to go in his stead…

_Why are you telling me this?_

Because it was the truth… Just as simple as that. What could he do to bend truth?

Neji brought a hand to the closing of his shirt's neckline. He could feel it - the bulge of his father's testament. He just wanted to have it near his self today, over his beating heart. It soothed him. The scroll, though curled tightly upon receiving, was pretty much flat and patched now. A few characters had been blotchy due to the fallen tears of a heartbroken son. He could unroll it again, read what his father had left as his last sentiments… and cry all over.

Neji took another deep breath. He had very much memorized the content anyway…

_Neji,_

_If you're reading this, it must mean that I have departed and you, my son, are a grown man. I entrust this to be handed over when the time is right, and I assume that your uncle has told you what had happened on the day I made my decision._

_Please listen to my words carefully._

_Nobody made me walk this path; I chose to myself._

_There is too little love in this family we are born to. Too little, that even blood is beneath status and title. The Branch House is formed and members are branded with the seal to present the upper class a leash unto us. Believe me how I suffer to see my own son given the marking of slavery. There is too much pain for us to co-exist, even though we originate from one big clan._

_Hence, it is understandable how you would take the intelligence of my death._

_But then, I understood. I realized the purpose of my existence – why I was brought here. I needed to protect someone. Everyone!_

_My kin._

_No matter how rigid the rules are, no matter how tightly I was bound, no matter what the dictation of Hyuga is… I am still me._

_I am free to choose my course of life._

_And I will tread on it._

_I walk to death willingly. It is what I am meant to do. Hiashi and I mirror each other perfectly. The Iwagakure-nins will never have noticed the difference. After all, they had only met Hiashi twice._

_Neji,_

_Do you know how many parties are after the secrets of Byakugan? I suspect that the one Hiashi murdered served as a scapegoat. Their true objective lies within the Byakugan. By obtaining a Hyuga's corpse, they can study and learn about the truth behind this bloodline limit. But, they do not know one crucial thing – the brand of Hyuga Branch House will seal off the power belonged to its member once that wielder of Byakugan dies. If I go in Hiashi's stead, not only can I cradle him away from harm – but also denying them access to our secrets._

_But Neji, the exact reason I am doing this is solely out of what I have immensely for you, Hiashi and the rest of Hyuga._

_Love._

_I do it because I love him._

_Because of all the time we spend together in our childhood, and all of the company he gave when I needed them._

_I am doing this as Hiashi's brother, not as a Hyuga Branch House member._

_This is the right way. And I choose to take it._

_Neji,_

_I hope you can understand my actions and intentions. Please don't give up fighting for your will and dreams. Now I only lament for not having the chance to see you soar as Hyuga Neji._

_Do me proud, son._

His father died protecting the one he loved.

And his pride. As a free man. Liberated of ancient laws and customs. He paved his road.

_And I will follow your steps._

Yes. He will do his father proud. He is his father's son.

_Then don't do anything! Wait until I become the next Hokage, then I'll change the Hyuga way for you!_

Naruto…

He is fighting.

Like o-tousan.

I will too.

_His name is Hyuga Neji_. And it would never change. But the boy's future was yet to be determined. Unformed, undecided…

He will mould it.

Neji leaned back, tilting his head up to bask his pale face under the afternoon sun; both arms propping his torso up.

_This feels nice…_

Oh, he forgot.

"Hinata-sama, do you want to come and watch the fishes here?"

The inconspicuous figure gasped.

He waited. He wondered what took her so long. Maybe she was still… _terrified _of him? He could comprehend her feelings… if only she knew he had yet to stop blaming himself.

"Hinata-sama?"

Half of her peeked sideways timidly from behind a tree trunk. Her pale, translucent eyes fixed uncertainly on her cousin. He sensed her uneasiness. He did not want to be feared. Tightness formed in his throat again. He let his eyes wandered aimlessly on the lush grass. He could not change it… he could not rewind time and undo his horrendous deeds… he couldn't…

Something steered beside his sitting form.

Someone had just plopped herself carelessly on the ground next to him. He looked on incredulously.

"Neji-nii san, I brought some sandwiches."

Her words were clear, bright and cheerful. Not a tinge of doubtfulness tainted her speech. She looked determined and fierce, though in a very feminine manner.

Noticing her cousin's intent gaze on her, she blushed into a shade of deep scarlet. Her stutters barged in again.

"I err… noticed that you haven't eaten… eaten much for err… breakfast… Maybe you're hungry…" her mousy voice trailed off, engulfed by the wind.

He had not given real heed to his stomach. Now that she brought the matter up, only then did he realise how hungry he was. And did she mention sandwiches?

Hinata placed a bundle of something wrapped neatly in a piece of checkered handkerchief on the grass between them. Undoing the knot which prevented the stack of sandwiches from falling, she smiled and handed a piece to Neji.

Still staring in disbelief, he accepted it and returned the kindly gesture. Even between silent bites and munches, he still detected her nervousness of being here with him. But she never twitched at his every shift, which made him feel slightly happy. She was there, really there! And for once, at such close proximity, he did not curse her very existence in this world. In fact, he was grateful of it.

This is the heiress of the Hyuga clan – too pure, too innocent. And she will be the successor to the clan's throne. She is not prepared for it, or so he thought. She is strong. And courageous. Far more than he is. And it is true.

One of the many things his father told him when he was a child was to always protect Hinata. Because it is the duty of a Branch House member, he said. Yet only in the Chunin exam he had tried his best to do her in. And for this, he was revolted with himself. He wanted to make it up to her. But he knew if he apologized, his cousin would probably blush some more, landing them in awkward silence. He could not stand awkward silence. Nevertheless, she did not abhor him. She still sees him as her family. And still respects him for who he is. As time glides, they grew. Now, no words were needed. It was like telepathy.

_I'm sorry._

_It's nothing._

Both knew. And both moved on to better themselves so _they _can set their own voyage – their own destiny. Neji was not the only one struggling. Hinata was too. Together, they fought against odds to alter their beliefs and perspectives. Mysterious, isn't it, the way universe work? They were very different… incomparable because there is nothing to compare to. Still, at core, they do not differ that much. Their aspirations run parallel to each other's.

And they both owe this new lease of life to one idiotic shinobi – the Number One Loudest, Unpredictable, Hyperactive Knuckleheaded Ninja of Konoha, Uzumaki Naruto.

Neji chuckled. So much for being rookie number one and genius of Hyuga clan.

"What is it, Neji-nii san?"

Hinata looked at him, puzzled by his un-triggered laughter.

"Nothing," he mumbled thickly, stuffing his mouth with the sandwich. Then he noticed the untouched food lay neatly on the fabric.

"Please, Hinata-sama. Help yourself, too."

Smiling a little, she took a piece. Neji actually enjoyed her quiet company. It helped him forget solitude. And surprisingly, it was as if he had not opened his eyes to this glorious landscape; suddenly everything seemed much more majestic than it had been an hour ago. He cast his doleful eyes to the stream and looked at their reflections.

His pupil-less orbs focused on the girl beside him. This is only Hyuga Hinata, his cousin. A blood related relative. He thought it was a loss, not to have the chance to manifest the bond and compassion that other family shares, like Kiba and Hana-nii chan. He grew up so fast that his early days' innocence was butchered to pieces… he had forgotten how he wanted to have Hinata at his place so they could play tag or go fishing. Sadly, being born by chance into different houses was good enough a rationale not to permit the cousins to mingle. But the impossible had just occurred! Look at them! Sandwiches and a checkered hankie, and the both of them on the green, green grass under the shades of foliages; it felt like a picnic he had always desired to go with someone else besides his father. But being the only child, he had no one else. Who knew taking Hinata for a day out in the sun was considered a felony in the Hyuga?

But his uncle took him under his wings. He thought him everything he knows. He maimed the restricted law of not allowing a Branch House member to learn the secrets of Byakugan by teaching Neji how to do so. He cared for him. He raised him like a son of his own, fulfilling his part as Hizashi's brother. He is different than before. No longer wintry and callous, he cared more about family relationship than he lets on. Neji knew. His sincerity pierced everyone's soul. They knew he would do anything within his power to keep the clan from falling apart. The Hyuga will never be desolate and dilapidated – he will not let it. And if it was at all possible, he would never have branded Neji and single-handedly cursed him to a life of enslavement.

Neji collected bread crumbs on his laps and scattered them over the river. Seconds later, a school of flamboyantly scaled fish pelted to the surface with mouths gaping to snap their lunch. Hinata giggled when a particularly large one was shoved out of the way by three finned "midgets". Once the last few crumbs were captured into their guts, the fishes dispersed and swam away.

He was glad, too, that finally he had attained what his father had yearned for so badly.

He was free.

Like the fishes.

_O-tousan…_

_Arigatou…_

Hinata took in a contented breath. She felt at ease, really, and she did not know she could be this relaxed in the presence of another person. Kiba-kun and Shino-kun sometimes made her edgy because she was clearly being outclassed by them. But they always pushed her forward and cheered her all the way… Naruto-kun also…

She was not alone.

"Neji-nii san?"

Hinata turned to Neji. He was lying outstretched on his back, his head inclined somewhat to her direction. Gentle snores escaped his slightly parted lips. This would be the second time she had seen him asleep. The first one being her visit to the hospital along with her father and Hanabi; Neji was literally brought back from death after his one-on-one battle with Kidoumaru, an Otogakure-nin and was comatose for the next few days. Back then, his visage was crumpled and perturbed – he was battling pain physically… emotionally…

This time, he was completely at rest; his façade smooth and serene. She knew he had vanquished whatever that was daunting him. For that alone, she respected her elder cousin even more. She hoped that her everyday prayers will be answered, that the Hyuga clan will come to serve more as a home instead of a heartless centre giving birth to highly-competent ninjas with kekkei genkai. She really wished that one day, there will not be a need to brand anyone with the accursed seal… and that every child in the clan can play and chortle together… and strengthen the bond they were supposed to preserve…

Untainted as they were upon birth, the ugliness of reality will eventually rub in. Only their hearts can save them from plunging too deep because it is their hearts which are not poisoned and scarred – but their eyes and ears.

Love can rekindle the dwindling spark of innocence and decency.

And the family will blow air into the flames to keep it burning.

Hinata hugged her knees closer and rested her chin on them. There she sat, watching the migrating birds above heading south…


End file.
